Dish or Dash?

When I was younger my mother told me a great story from her childhood. She wanted to surprise her parents with homebaked cookies. She took my grandmother's handwritten recipe, and saw that it called for a dish of salt. She was unsure of which size dish to use, so she took stock of her mother's array of dishes and chose an average size from the selection. The cookies were awful, and my grandmother appologized for her handwritting, the recipe had only needed a dash of salt. I'm trying to figure out a recipe for life. Does idealism add flavor to realism, or the other way? Does life call for a dash of idealism and I'm trying to figure out what size dish? Ok, I'll backtrack. I've been trying to launch a new idea in the Israel year program world. I want to open a place for non-yeshiva kids. A kiruv program which combines learning with living...in this case, learning and internships in Israeli offices. I found a group who seemed to believe in the idea, and in me. Without going into too many details, the positive energy flowing into the program from the group has slowed. They have thought seriously about pulling their support. After a week of meetings with them, about the financial gains the organzation will come out with, they have agreed to continue with my program. I have seen them in a new light, and I see they don't really believe in or understand the program. I never really thought I would be the person really running the program. I don't think I am equipped to run a school. I don't think I am equipped both educationally or religiously to make the types of decisions on my own. I thought the educational director who is a rabbi with decades of years experiance working in kiruv with youth, would take more of a position in the program. I have come to understand that he is only going to play background. He is going to treat it like any other program the group runs, leaving me to be the director of this program. I still believe the program is needed. I still believe the program could do so much good. But... with me running it... ????? It was suggested that I run the program the best I can for one, two years until the program is a success and then I can hire the type of influences I want. What about those two years worth of students who come here, and don't get everything they should. What about those participants who could've gone to yeshiva/midrasha? Back to the recipe, does it need a healthy dish or dash of idealism?

New Beginnnings

So now i'm in my new apartment, with my new phone line, and my new internet provider, and my (well not really mine) working wireless router, and BOOM!!! my computer stops working again, so here I am blogging on Jessica (with a J)'s computer. I don't know when i'll be back on regularly...I have to take my computer cord in once again to be fixed. I think I'm ready for that new computer.... we'll see. So what's been going on since Mom and Dad left? What have i been doing now that the fight for the right to stay in Gush Katif has lost its battle. Well, stay tuned cuz I'm going to be filling you in in the next few days on small blog incriments. We'll cover topics like my new apartment, what's up with the program, am I going to America, who is this boyfriend, sukkot, and whatever else i can come up with, but for now Jess needs her computer back to finish her paper....
Chag Samayach